Crazy Love by Francis Chan
The last night before the end of thanksgiving break I was spending time in prayer and I realized that I had done an awful job of actively seeking after the Lord throughout my days. Unable to fall asleep I began to read my book and thus is the first and only passage that I read.
“O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, ‘Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away.’ Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long.”
A.W.Tozer
This passage is the perfect description of the constant internal battle of my heart. I understand my inadequacy and inability to focus on Him, yet I don't burn with an equal desire. I spent so long trying to understand why it was so difficult for me to pursue him fully and I finally realized my problem. Even in all of my insufficiency, I thought that I was capable of producing my own desire and my own satisfaction in my relationship with God. My desire for God is only given to me by God. It is a beautiful gift in return for having a life that reflects a intentional relationship with Him. This one passage was all that I needed to have an unbelievable reflection on where my heart was.
It was also just kind of awesome to see him respond immediately to my prayer. He knew I felt lost and He showered me with love and security.
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